i got pulled over

i was wit my homies tyrone n jaleel. we wuz drivin down tha bullivard were w@l mart iz. we wuz listenin 2 some gangsta shit, like PUBLIC ENEMY or NIGGAS WIT ATTITUDE but i dont rember cuz i was high as baallllzzz. we all wuz. we wuz smokin a big fat blunt goin like 90 mph and u kno wut we dn't even give a fuck.



so n-e way we wuz smokin dis blunt wen all uh duh sudden du redNblue lights wen off. i pull over n turn down my musik. cop sez like "get out the muthafuckin car with ya muthafuckin hands up. me n my high self decided to try n run. i turnd my car bak on n drove lik a maniac. my boi tyrone threw his gun out duh window n my boy jaleel try 2 stick duh blunt up his vag (ha ha ha). so n e way du cop shootz my tires wen we git on INtErStAtE 64$$$

so tyrone went 2 jail 4 duh gun, i got some communty service n my lice taken away n jaleel is a pussy.

peace.

two months overdue

put on your thinking caps, kids, because today marks an important day in history. at about 7th period, i decided to go home and clean out my car. so i did that. i got a lot of the nasty brown stuff off the floors with a wet rag. i also used some stuff called "pet pee" to try to tame down the smell of Athena's ghost's pee (sometimes i miss that cat). anywho. so i get my car smelling a little back to normal, and i'm really happy because, after 3 days of rain, my trunk is not drenched in water, nor is my backseat wet (except for the seat all the way to the right, which still gets a little bit wet, but not overwhelmingly wet. i have a feeling it will evaporate soon enough [hopefully]).

so okay, my car is clean, right? now i need some trees. not the kind of trees you're thinking about, but the trees you stick on your rear-view mirror. i usually use the "coconut" scent, but it's run out of smell. so i drive down to walmart to pick some new ones up. i got the "pina colada" scent, because it smells good. i go back to my car and start driving off. while in the parking lot, i notice a cop car. i don't think about it for too long, because i only passed him - we were going in opposite directions. i get to the red light next to applebees (- the one that's at the end of the road that walmart, movie gallery, etc. is on, and where waffle house is across the street from). i notice that the same cop is behind me. shit.

so i'm doing everything perfectly, right? going 43 instead of 45, keeping my music volume down, and everything else you're supposed to do when a cop is behind you. when i'm getting closer to the home base, he turns on the red and blue lights.

shit, shit, shit. i'm actually getting pulled over my a real life police officer with a real life police car and real life red and blue lights

i couldn't help but feel a little bit like a badass. i'm listening to a song that goes 'my girlfriend drives a benz/she has a lotta pretty best friends/they all like to experiment/my girlfriend is a lesbian' and simultaneously getting pulled over. so i pull over, all that stuff. he walks over to my car and i realize i don't have my seatbelt on. "shit," i say. but i don't think he notices. he asks for my license and registration, then says that my inspection is 2 months past due.

he goes back to his car for about 5 minutes. i got really bored but figured i shouldn't make any sudden movements, so i count the coins in the little slot on my door. ummm. he comes back, explains it to me, reads out what everything on the ticket means. then i have to sign some papers, etc. it was really crazy. and pretty frightful. but he said if i get my car inspected in the next 2 weeks, then the ticket will be dismissed. my court date is june 2.

fuck the police.

i'ma gonna

pretty this shit up when i get a chance.